Hi there, Im under 18 and my mom said not to talk to strangers. 14. I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. Youd better give it to her or shell take it anyway." But friends like you lie on the floor with us and laugh our butts off together. If youre looking for a sassier way to go through life, these smartass quotes with advice are sure to help. Monkeys are intelligent. "Never mistake my silence for weakness. "Lead me not into temptation. Anonymous, 132. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Its called balance., 3. - She's a sharp cookie. There are indications the Kremlin might be trying to take it over, according to a think tank. This is actual very true and not only for idiots but everyone me including. All Im saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too., 44. "I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. "Nice perfume. How do you describe someone who's funny in English? Whether you want to brighten up the mood when your boyfriend is having a bad day, or share some stomach-aching giggles on a date, laughing together builds intimacy and is even linked to longer-lasting relationships. See? You cant make somebody love you. 200 Best Sarcastic Quotes and Funny Sarcasm Sayings - Parade Now, congratulate yourself by all means but do it silently. When life gives us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, OK? - She's got her head screwed on right. Forget about the presentI didnt get you one! Shut your mouth when youre talking to me., 64. Clever ways of saying someone isn't smart - Straight Dope But that smartass isnt the only one with something up their sleeve, and if you know just what to say at just the right time, you can knock that smartass right off that high horse. From the greats to the random internet memes, this was a list of the best smartass quotes for life, ex-loves, and general sassiness. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. However, if you can do the raised eyebrow look, it will add a dose of irony and really? to your quote. "My boss told me to have a good day so I went home. Take a look at these fun intelligent insults! For Men. Do you often run out of things to say or feel awkward and self-conscious in social situations? In some ways, sarcasm is creativity. ", 149. If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of car payments., 29. 14. 140 Funny Things to Say In ANY Situation Laughter is a social superpower. ", 150. I will get to you shortly. I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? 01 Be ready for a longer debate. The problem was he/she wanted a serious relationship, and Im a funny girl/guy. Im in your driveway., 47. Make your friends bust out laughing with one of these clever things to write on a card: Valentines is the perfect opportunity to express your love to your significant other or write a funny card to your fellow singles. So whats the most effective way to get out your frustrations while still coming off like the lovable stud/studette that you are? Today marks the anniversary of the day you dove into the world head-first! Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde, 42. He's a smart cookie. 100 Ways To Say - "Not The Brightest" - Don Charisma Play, Teach, Writing 100 Ways To Say - "Not The Brightest" Not pulling a full wagon. Nasty ex sniffing around? 1. "I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Funny Quotes. 4. ", 102. "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions. Words used to describe unintelligent people - Macmillan Dictionary ", 143. "If youve never met the devil in the road of life, its because youre both heading in the same direction." I used to think I was indecisive, but now Im not really sure. Im on a seafood diet. There are many other versions of this expression: Someone is not the brightest crayon in the box not the brightest bulb in the chandelier not the sharpest knife in the drawer not the brightest star in the sky not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree not the quickest bunny in the forest Light travels faster than sound. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Youll just end up looking comedic and thats not what were going for here. Heres what to say when someone is being a smartass and you found it annoying: Sometimes the best response is to say nothing and to ignore them. "Your fervent, misguided sense of entitlement is stunning. "Henny Youngman, 126. ", 140. Say unexpected or random comments with a humorous tone. I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me. If you cant laugh at yourself, I can help you out. The invent a fake trash collection project prank. You have a great sense of humor. or Arlo Guthrie: sittin'' on the Group W bench. Joey Adams, 171. Forget about the pastyou cant change it. If looking good were a crime, you would have been arrested several times a day. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. The stock market. 1. Well at least your mom thinks youre pretty., 31. Are you stuck on a cruise ship full of people during the corona crisis again? Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Not everyone has good taste., 7. You know, let karma sort things out. I love you with all my butt. Love is grand, until it isnt. Im sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared., 17. How to be witty and win anyone over, Backhanded compliment How to react kindly or give back in kind, Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in, How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm. Two strands of DNA are walking down the street. Dont blame me for your stupidity, take that up with your mom and dad, 49. Here are 200 of the best sarcastic quotes and sayings. Dont get worked up. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. [Read: All the quotes you need while going through a breakup], 15. Ill know youre my best friend if you immediately delete my internet history after I die. "We always hold hands. Want to sound smarter? Avoid these 24 words and phrases that - CNBC "When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples' eyes. Ill marry your brother just to be in your family. Do you reckon youve got skills when it comes to making a point without explicitly saying it? Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Share. Happy born day, bestie! "My neighbors listen to good music whether they like it or not. I am on energy saving mode. Im actually not funny. I know you got my last text because Cops doesnt start till 4. "If you dont want a sarcastic answer, then dont ask a stupid question. Im not always hungry; sometimes Im sleepy, too. ", Saw two coworkers going about a task in the worst way I could imagine. Try this: Call your friend and let them know you cant talk right now. How much does a polar bear weigh? This is your cheat sheet on what to say when someone is being a smartass, whether you find it funny, are embarrassed, or are annoyed. Must you marinate in it? Well done, you managed to deliver the perfect insult or smartass line. "For Halloween, I'm going to be emotionally stable. Ahh yes, its better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. E.g. Maybe youll find a brain back there., 45. If I could rearrange the alphabet Id put U and I together. That will be fun. A user on Quora is the source of this truly genius prank, which involves telling a lot of people that your friend is collecting trash for a . Your smile is contagious. "I lost your number. ", 46. Avoid them. "I always carry a knife in my purse. If youre cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?, 12. Cancel my subscription because I dont need your issues., 14. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. 47 Positive Words To Describe Someone | Thesaurus.com You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. Russia-Ukraine war latest: Kremlin may take 'formal control' of Wagner A friend like you is like a good bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, uplifting, and always close to my heart! And no tinfoil hat can save them now. What a philosophical way to describe someone saying something stupid. 123 Synonyms & Antonyms of IDIOT - Merriam-Webster You look so good I want to plant you and grow a whole field of yall. - Oliver Wendell Holmes. I cant force you to be right. Enough to break the ice. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. Memorize some of the lighthearted lines from above. Happy Valentines Day, cutie! Ill be poor., 16. "Life is short. Sometimes, people just need to be told. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. ", 99. "Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what's on my mind is so immense, I need a nap afterward. Well, historically speaking, more powerful. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Please enter your email to complete registration. These funny things to say are great. ", 54. Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever., 55. "No, no, no. Natalie Wood, Actress, 133. You think Im cute when Im angry? E.g. By having the last say, youre leaving them dumbfounded and not sure what to say in response. Following Prigozhin's armed rebellion many have been wondering what is next for his Wagner Group. Admit it, sometimes those little comments are funny, especially if its a close friend or family member who shares your type of humor. "I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic." ", 174. If you order pizza tonight, I am at your service, baby! Nothing! ", 129. I dont want to give off the wrong impression., 104. ", 52. Note: I included the second definition as a comment on the sensibilities involved in mastering various levels of information and computer technology. If you want to look thin and young, hang out with some fat old people. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.